It's A Mini Adventure!
by CordsCool
Summary: A collection of very short stories from the world of Harry Potter.
1. Round 1

A/N - Just thought it would be fun to think of Harry Potter Stories in 100 words or less! If you have any suggestions for a mini story to add – let me know! I will add another chapter shortly with probably five more mini stories on it. DO NOT OWN ANYTHING!

Welcome back Varyssa!

**OOOOOH! Matron!**

That Christmas, Ron and Harry received what they thought the best present ever: a 'wenseive' that extracted your innermost desires and fantasies and projected them into the open.

Ron was amused when it turned out Harry's fantasy was a singing Professor Snape in drag while Harry was somewhat scared by Ron's : Hermione in a skimpy Nurse's outfit.

'I'm going to have to take your temperature now Mr Weasley', the image said flirtatiously. 'Uh, not in the mouth I'm afraid'.

**Vodka And Chaka Khan**

'So that's why we need to break up', Pansy told a heartbroken Draco. 'I just want to say…'

'I know what you want to say', Draco cut in, 'that whole it's not you it's me thing?'

'Actually, it _is _you… and your fantasies with Voldemort'

Draco was so upset that night but after two hours of crying to 'I will always Love you' he picked himself up.

'_Well, I'm not going to sit here and mope, I choose Vodka and Chaka Khan'_. And so Draco danced his blues away with his tribute to 'I'm Every Woman'.

**Slash?**

Ron and Hermione were doing their Potions homework when Ron got stuck and Hermione attempted to help. 'It's easy,' she said naturally, 'You just take the number of nargles - divide them by the number of bat eyes, oh don't forget to quarter them first. Multiply the two by 19.86, add it to the potion, stir clockwise ten times, anti clockwise 34 times until the potion turns the colour of the sky, add the carplies , one for every ounce of unicorn dust you put in. So!' she said happily, 'understand?'

Ron looked silently at her and muttered bewilderingly, 'Slash?'

**The Awful Truth**

'No!' Harry gasped, 'that can't be true!'

'I'm sorry', Dumbledore said Grimly. 'You know that the greatest power you have is love, well this is the only thing you can do to save us!'

'But that'll kill me! Torture! I can't snog Voldemort to kill him, can't!'

'I cannot, force you', Harry felt relief, 'however if you do't, uh, _perform your duty_, then a picture of you and Hagrid sharing a candlelit dinner could come out!'

Harry was shocked at this, 'that was a celebration dinner for Grawp's exam results! Fine! I Suppose I _have _to do it!'

**Must Come Down**

'Give it!' screamed Neville.

'This?' Malfoy taunted holding Neville's remembrall. 'Go fetch! Malfoy laughed, throwing the remembrall into the air, screaming 'ELLUVIATE'!

The remembrall soared into the air as Malfoy walked back to the castle. Neville returned crestfallen – 'that was a present! I'll get Malfoy!'

'Don't worry. What goes up…' Hermione gave a smile as she pointed at the remembrall hovering among the trees and shouted 'RETREVE!'

The ball hurtled back down, eventually catching up with Malfoy's head.

Hermione and Neville stepped over the unconscious Malfoy on the way to charms, '…must come down', Hermione whispered to an ecstatic Neville.


	2. Round 2

A/N – Some more short stories – I'm not going to stick to the hundred words or less rule anymore, so long as they are quite short –about. Thank you for the reviews – If you have an idea for a mini leave it in your next review. Thank you to the one whom suggested that I should write something about Crabbe and Goyle when Draco is not around – hope I did you justice!

Of Dictators and Bogies 

'Is it ready?' Crabbe whispered excitedly over the smouldering cauldron.

'Yeah!' Squeaked the equally excited Goyle. He reached inside the cauldron and pulled out a blood red stone. 'Wow! We did it Crabbe! Soon we shall be immortal with unlimited power, enough to take over the world!'

And together, they cackled a very stereotypical evil laugh that they had been practising on Hermione – 'Mwah HA HA H…'

The door opened and in walked Malfoy where the cackle abruptly turned into a cough.

'What you guy's doing with a cauldron?' Draco asked suspiciously.

'Uh'

'Uh, seeing what would happen if we mixed troll bogies with essence of Millicent Mulstrode' Goyle thought creatively.

'Yeah', Crabbe cottoned on, 'nothings really changed though'.

'Not surprised', scoffed Malfoy ' not much difference between the two'.

The three laughed where Crabbe and Goyle shifted somewhat uncomfortably. They watched Draco intently as he left the dormitory where Crabbe and Goyle closed the door very slowly (and very sinisterly) behind them.

'They will never know' Goyle said solemnly.

Crabbe nodded and on a happier note added 'speaking of knowing, have you had a chance to read that book I lent on you on the theory of multiverses yet?'

'No', Goyle said disappointingly, 'I haven't finished reading the Summa Theologica.'

Even Dirtier Dancing (dedicated to best friend who should stick her parents and follow her heart – she will always have my sofa)

Hermione's parents had not reacted well when they found out who her boyfriend was.

'Ron Weasley?' Her mother cried, ' the one who always has dirt on his nose and wants to be a dancer?'

'Hermione, you cannot seriously like him!' Mr Weasley said sternly. 'No! It's a phase; I've read about this need to rebel in Dentist Monthly – do you feel we neglect you? Maybe we should have hugged you more…'

And the slander continued late into the night, but Hermione did not say a word; she just sat there, taking the abuse from her ignorant parents in. She agreed not to see Ron anymore, just to shut them up but it broke her heart. Instead of implementing all the fun things Ron and her had planned to do over the summer, she found herself miserable in her room day after day. Ron of course tried to console her through letters but it just made her more upset that he couldn't be their with her.

'_Why don't they understand! I LOVE him! It's my life, ' _she often thought bitterly.

It was the last week of the holidays, and Hermione's parents had dragged her to her Aunt's wedding, where she sat alone looking enviously at the couples on the dance floor longing for Ron to be there. '_He would have loved this_', she thought, '_all those new dance moves to try out'_

Suddenly, the lights went out and a shadow appeared on stage. The lights started to beam and a lanky boy with ginger hair could be seen. Hermione's heart skipped, her parent's jaws dropped.

'Um, Hermione?' Ron said awkwardly, 'I can't see you'

Hermione looked at her parents disapproving glances but decided so what? The love of her life was on stage and by the looks of it about to do something incredibly stupid in the name of love, the least she could was point herself out to him. She stood up; her father's eyed narrowed.

'Oh! You're there! Um, I know you're parents hate me but, um, I'm in love with you not them so um, who cares? Right?'

They looked into each other's eyes, Ron's expression gave her so much strength she could she could fly, '_So why am I still handing here?_'

_The time of my life_ started to echo around the hall and Hermione found herself walking towards the stage where Ron was, her mother clapped a hand around her arm.

'You can't keep me in this corner, the man I love is waiting for me'. Her mother let go in a kind of recognition leaving Hermione to jump into Ron's arms where they (to put it bluntly) snogged each other's faces off in full view of everyone. When they pulled apart Ron smirked, 'Aren't you worried what your parents might think?'

Hermione sighed, ' Meh'.

And so they danced the night away knowing that this event would be in their memories for a lifetime. Hermione was happy that she had taken control of her own life – where the mistakes she would decide upon would make her stronger and every decision added to her love and lust for life – the life she shared with Ron (and her best friend Cordy, I mean Harry).

Snape's Wrath

Harry had never seen Snape this angry before (and he had seen Snape angry a lot). He had put the class into a kind of line up and was patrolling up and down it looking for signs of guilt.

'So', he said coolly. 'Thought you could get one over on me eh? Thought I wouldn't _notice_, that I wouldn't_ care. _Well let me assure you, If no one owns up to this I will put you all in detention for a month! Even you Malfoy!'

The class looked about nervously, sweat trickled down Dean's face.

'Now this is the last chance!' Snape Barked. 'I will ask you one more time… WHO stole the cookies from the cookie jar!'

Ten Reason's Voldemort is Gay

He has a fixation on a Mr Harry Potter.

He is way too good at keeping secrets.

He uses torture as an outlet for his suppressed desires.

He is constantly surrounded by male death eaters who could be providing a service beyond killing if you know what I mean.

He wants to take over the world – clearly a cry out for companionship.

He wants to live forever – only a gay man is that obsessed with staying beautiful and of course fashionable!

He had a HUGE daddy complex – need I carry on?

A fondness of snakes- symbolism for his fondness of something else?

He so knows what colours work well on him – traditional black mixed with a hint of green on the dark mark. Fabulous!

Famous gay people always change their name – Elton John etc..!

So We'll Go No More A Roving

Harry had tried so hard to think of a way to break the relationship up as gently as possible but in the end decided to express his feelings in poetry.

'So we'll go no a roving so late into the night,

Though the heart be still as loving and the moon be still as bright…

Yet we'll go no a roving by the light unto the moon, So no hard feelings k?'

'Draco stood silently listening. 'I don't get it', he said in a bemused manner.

Harry sighed. 'Basically our midnight romps have to stomp, Ron is getting suspicious!'

'You bitch!' Draco slapped Harry hard across and stormed across the room to the door turning back to Harry to say one more thing – 'take a good luck Potter, cos' you'll never get it this good again! Ask Weaselby, he ought to know!'

Draco left Harry contemplating his last sentence and it suddenly fell into place – 'No! Won Won! You swore I was the only man for you!'


	3. Round 3

A/N – I am in a kinda mellow mood today so don't expect the funniness of the last two chapters, well, not for the first two stories! Once again – if you have any ideas for a story post it in your review!

Oh foolish heart 

He told her they would last forever. That there was no one like her. He said it with so much passion that she could only believe him and grow to trust him. She could see past the snide remarks right into his heart, into his soul. She was in love, love – it even sounded amazing. It was intense, full of passion and she knew, KNEW he felt the same way. So when he asked her for the Gryffindor password so he could spent the night with her _'I'm longing to be with you'_ he said, she was only too willing to tell him – the man she loved.

So she waited in sweet anticipation, waiting, waiting. But he never came.

Hermione later wished that he hadn't come to the tower that night. She longed to think that he had forgotten about her, gone off her, even hated her. She could have handled that – but what she couldn't handle was that Draco did visit her that night. He came in her room, with blood on his robes, still warm. She stood there amazed at the sight – even more so by his grin, they looked at each other Hermione with bewilderment, Draco with satisfaction. Hermione had always been too clever for her good and this was no exception. She realised what she had done, how she had been played for an idiot, how Draco had used her to get to Harry Potter. She made a run for the door but Draco grabbed her and put his hand over her mouth as she desperately tried to scream out not for her own sake but for Harry's.

The morning brought with it horror when Ron drew back the curtains of Harry's bed to discover a stiff body drowned with blood. As soon as the cries were heard, Draco let go of Hermione grabbed his broomstick and jumped out of the window.

She didn't see the body, she felt too guilty and when she burst into hysterical crying at the funeral people just thought she was mourning. But of course Hermione knew the truth: she had been so foolish, given in to the madness of love. Why didn't she think? How could she live with herself? Her stupid heart had caused all this – she was dangerous – she was a murderer and she had to be punished.

Hermione was always too clever for her own good but when it came to love, she was clueless, she was human. Yes, she had always been too clever; clever enough to understand the correct mixture of herbs that would create a deadly poison for Draco… and then for herself.

The Greater Good 

Harry was torn in what to do. Voldemort had killed everyone close to him, if he hadn't carried them all out he was certainly the cause. But this? This was worse because this time Harry held the decisions, he was in control and he hated it. This was torture; his heart was breaking.

'Harry Potter!' Voldemort called out with murderous glee. 'Dumbledore told you your greatest strength is love, I have turned it into your downfall! Surely you did not think that you would triumph! I knew you were destroying my horcruxes but I let you, to distract you and it worked!'

All Harry could do was stare at the scene before him. He silently agreed with Voldemort, he was beaten, he knew it. Voldemort stood a centimetre away from the veil in the department of mysteries; one push, one flick of the wand from Harry and he would fall, he would die. But Voldemort held an unconscious Ginny in his arms and Harry knew to kill Voldemort would be to kill her.

Harry couldn't let that happen, he loved her so much it hurt being apart from her for one second and he couldn't bear it if he never saw her again. He was trapped, he didn't' know what to do until he remembered Sirius' words – '_some things are worth dying for', _he'd be killing Ginny but it would be for the greater good of saving the world. He knew it made sense and so slowly he began to raise his wand.

'Ha! You really think you can do it Harry Potter?' Voldemort glowered at him with immense satisfaction.

Harry's hand was shaking, his mind racing. It was true he couldn't do it but then he remembered a different set of words form a different person: Dumbledore had always said that he and Voldemort were connected and he had destroyed all the horcruxes, there was nothing that Voldemort could hold on too. Harry raised his wand again but this time pointed it at himself. He was not frightened instead determined, determined in the fact that if Ginny and he could not be together, he would give her the world, a better world free of suffering. There was a flash of green light and the last thing Harry saw was Ginny's body falling slowly onto the stone floor released by Voldemort's grip as he too fell to the floor, dead; a few metres away stood the body of the boy who lived who had sacrificed himself so that the world could now live. But he didn't do it for that, the greater good: in the end he did it for one thing, the love of a single red - haired girl who never forgot him.

10 Reasons Why Dementors Are Good To Have Around

A great excuse to eat chocolate.

The natural method of getting the effect of downers; Prozac no longer needed!

Ha! That perky bitch you hate in English is turned into a nervous, gibbering wreck! (hi Hannah!)

They make pretty firework displays when they fire the dark mark.

The mist they produce when breeding is great for the conspicuous look – you could make out with that hot guy safe in the knowledge that no one would find out and for those dare devils out there - even escape murder!

They are the legs that the Goth, suicide and the medicinal industries stand on!

They retain an air of mystery making us keen to know more about them (like Elton John etc) thus methinks there's a whole lot of mileage in the death eater's terror – I foresee feature films, album deals and of course trashy merchandise!

They are the things that Harry fears the most and so anything that deflates his huge head has to be a good thing!

Who actually needs a soul anyway? They're overrated and with everyone's being sucked out of them they shall become like me – a diva with no soul – A WORLD FULL OF CORDY'S! Mwah ha ha!

Even though they are feared and wretched – the potential humour they can instil in a fan fic is endless – dementors doing the macarena, a gay dementor who falls in love with Harry, dementors at a theme park….

Tutu Can Play At That Game 

Roars of laughter echoed round the Gryffindor common room. Harry had just entered through the portrait hole and to his horror (and to everyone's amusement) was wearing a pink ballerina's dress. Harry ran to his room closely followed by Ron and Hermione.

'Mate,' chortled Ron. 'I had no idea u were thinking of a career change. I mean I know the auror's uniforms aren't as er as colourful as that but…'

'Shut up Ron!' Shouted Harry, feeling completely embarrassed and angry. 'I don't know how this happened ok! I was definitely not wearing this a minute ago! What the hell happened!'

'Clearly someone has played a prank on you', said Hermione knowingly.

'Well thanks for that little piece of information! I'm sure we would never have been able to work that one out! Said Ron sarcastically.

Hermione chose to ignore this and continued, 'the question is who…'

'Malfoy!' Interrupted Harry. 'It's always Malfoy! Plus he walked past me on my way to he common room! He must have done a spell or something; I'll get him back for this! Two can play at his game!'

The next day the residents of Hogwarts were treated (or punished) to a rather amusing sight at breakfast – Malfoy had entered the hall completely naked laughing with his two cronies Crabbe and Goyle. The girls stared, the teachers were shocked and the boys laughed at his teeny tiny… anyway back to the story. It took a few moments for Malfoy to register what was happening and when he did, gave a very shrill (and girlie) scream and ran out with his butt wobbling after him. Harry joined in with the laughter, satisfied of his revenge and could even see the funny side of his own wardrobe malfunction – at least he had been clothed and it wasn't in front of the whole school. Now that Harry thought about it – he actually felt quite bad. '_No_,' he thought. '_Malfoy deserved it. He shouldn't have tried to humiliate me!'_

As harry pondered this Fred and George came over. 'Hey Harry!' Laughed George. 'How did you like our little prank on you yesterday!'

'Harry stared at them horror stricken. 'That was you?'

'Yeah, we were trying out our 'costume candy''.

'Yeah,' said Fred guiltily. 'But we gave you the wrong one – you were meant to be wearing an auror's outfit… sorry if we embarrassed you'.

'That's er that's ok, it didn't really bother me.'

Fred and George relieved to hear that they hadn't upset Harry and left him sitting dumbstruck in the middle of the great hall where the ridicule of Draco's 'manhood' was still continuing. Outside Harry could swear he could hear crying. _'Oops'_, he thought.

Simple

'It's so weird, I never thought I would feel this way. I always thought I loved him but now I realise it didn't even come close to this. I admit I was 'in love' with Krum but I didn't 'love' him, not in the same way I love Ron. Krum was a… madness, yes that right, a temporary madness – I was so caught up in him, I made him my whole universe and we were so naïve, so young. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret it – it was amazing while it lasted; but that's the thing with being 'in love' you see, it doesn't last. - One day you wake up from this futile dream where the passion has burned away…and you feel devastated, like the colours of the world have turned black and you see a stranger lying before and you try to make it work but deep down you know that it won't because you don't love him. That was Krum, but not with Ron. Of course we had the deep, burning passion that every new relationship has but I now know the true meaning of what love is: It is not the sleepless, lustful nights, it is not butterflies and breathlessness, because that is simply being 'in love'. No love is, what me and Ron have, is what is left over when being 'in love' has burned away. And when you realise it, it is the most amazing feeling in the world – when you are lying there, watching him sleep and you feel secure, safe and he'll love you for ever because that's how much you'll love him. Unconditionally, unequivocally. And now I'm sitting here grateful that I found him and looking forward to the future. I don't know if we'll survive the war but one thing I know for sure is that our roots are entwined so closely that our love can survive anything – even if we have to wait a lifetime to be with each other again because love, real love, survives beyond the grave, survives beyond anything. How do I know? Because it's love.

Some of the stories were a little melodramatic I know1 But hey that's fan fic!

In the next installment o 'It's A Mini Adventure!'…

. Hermione and Orlando Bloom?

. Snape and Harry in a v compromising position?

. When Candyfloss turns evil?

Only in the twisted world of Cordy will all become clear! Mwah ha ha

STAY TUNED


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